The Journey Begins

After months of deliberating over starting a blog I have finally bit the bullet, got over my fears (partly) and begun the journey. What am I afraid of? Oh many many things! The biggest fear of all is the most ridiculous; people reading my blog posts! You may be thinking why on earth are you starting a blog if you don’t want people to read it? Well, talking to strangers must be easier than talking to people you know.

The reason I need to talk is because I am not just afraid of writing a blog and posting it into the big wide world, I am afraid of saying the wrong thing to my friends, losing control of my actions through sheer panic, causing tensions with the ones I love and quite frankly fucking up my life. All of these fears are because I suffer with anxiety and panic disorder.
Worry and anxiety are things that try to control people’s thoughts and actions and I hate to say it but in my case, it often wins. But sharing my thoughts with other people is something I need to improve on and this is where I am starting. Hopefully these blog posts will enable me to focus on something that is going to better me; speaking to complete strangers about the madness inside my head and maybe, just maybe, helping you on your journey with anxiety.

I know I am not alone. I know there are millions of people around the world who feel the exact same way as me. But I also know there are millions of people who don’t. I feel incredibly envious of these people who can block shitty thoughts out of their head and maintain control of their actions. But sometimes I can’t help but wonder why they don’t understand. It’s not fair of me to think that. Why should I inflict my anxious state onto other people and hope that they will do something about it? But when panic is hovering like a storm cloud above your head surrounding you in a bubble of questions and fear, all you want is for somebody to help it go away.

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6 thoughts on “The Journey Begins

  1. hang in there and write…there are a lot of cool folks out there

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good for you for making this start. I hope you will find some growth and understanding in this effort.

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  3. I have the opposite problem and sometimes say things that can come out incredibly rude. I use to be a people pleaser and was always afraid of stepping on someones toes, saying the wrong thing, never saying no. I didn’t want to say no because I didn’t want anyone mad at me. However, I quickly learned people will step all over you and use you if you let them. Now I have no problem saying no and no problem having my own opinions even if they are outside of the norm. I have noticed I loved and click with those people who are outspoken, a little upfront, and those who stood up for what they believe in ….example..Howard Stern, Christina Aguilera…..I also developed a very thick skin over the years as I noticed some people may not agree with my views on life (such as being pro choice, openly accepting every race, nationality, religion, gay people and bisexual etc…Even my first book I wrote had some very harsh reviews….know what I say to that…well just look at the cover of my book. That is how I feel about those who gave me a harsh review. Don’t be afraid to say no or have your own opinions that may be different then some of your friends and families…..just respect their opinions and life choices as they should respect yours. You will get there!

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    1. Wow a very interesting comment. Thanks for the support! I’ll check out your blog!

      Like

  4. Writing and writers… It’s a religion really. Get free.

    Liked by 1 person

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